| Friends(maybe) |
[11 Jul 2005|11:37am] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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simple plan- im just a kid |
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i really dont know what to do anymore. half the time i feel that the people i consider my friends and even my best friends don't consider me friends. like soemtimes they do but a lot of thge time some of them leave me out of things or treat me in a way that makes me think they dont really like me. i sometimes wonder if they would be my friends if i didn't have a car, cuz sometimes i feel that thats all im good for is driving. i know this may sound stupid but this is nhow i feel and i hate feeling this way because i have felt this way my whole life always having to guess weather someone is my true friend or not, and i hate it. it gets me so damn depressed, and im to the point where i cant take the bullshit anymore and i cant take the feelings i have. i dont know maybe its all in my head, or maybe i need to find new friends, but i really dont want to because i love them with all my heart. especially those i consider my best friends, and i dont want to lose them, but if they really dont like me or keep making me feel like tghis i wont be able to do it anymore because its not fair. im sorry if i piss off anyone but these are my feelings and this is my journal so i am going to tell it how it is.
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[08 Jul 2005|09:08am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Destiny's Child- cater to you |
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I swear to god this is soooo fucking true its hilarious. if you are from connecticut u gotta read the whole thing!!!!!
You Know You're From Connecticut When...
You have hiked up a big hill or small mountain at least once for a keg party.
You never went to a bar in high school.
You thought that the only highways were 91 and 84.
You thought everyone couldn't buy beer after 8 pm
You actually thought that Hartford was big
You or someone you know has attended UCONN
You drive a JETTA
You still think that the Whalers are cool.
You have been to Misquamicut and to that little hot dog place.
There is a farm within miles of your house
You thought bars were really for people over 21
Your high school thanksgiving football game was the highlight of your school year.
You don't have an accent when you talk
You have known at least 2 preppy rich kids from Fairfield who listen to Phish.
You love Hilton Kaderli and your mom cried when he retired.
UConn basketball rules and no one can tell you different
You have deer in your backyard.
You didn't drink or do drugs until 10th grade.
You still don't understand why people say that Connecticut is the richest state.....
Your best friend went to Central, Western, Eastern and finally Manchester Community College.
Your mom works at Travelers and your dad works at Pratt and Whitney.
You have been drunk at the Meadows and don't remember the concert.
You go to Riverside at least once a summer
Your parents actually care about the Governor, the Patriots coming to Hartford, the lights at Christmas in Hartford & Channel 3 news.
You have a UCONN flag outside of your house year round
You think New Jersey was a toxic waste dump
You hang out at Denny's
You've partied at bonfires
You have at least one friend with a pickup
You think everyone works tobacco in the summer
You think Old Lyme is a shore town
You've been to Cape Cod
You think the Connecticut River is endless
The town diner is the only place open after midnight.
You have at least 4 friends who drive Jeep Grand Cherokees
You root for all the New York sports teams
If anybody asks, you're from just outside of New York.
You've never looked at a public bus schedule
You have both girlfriends and guyfriends with the same name as you.
You go to the diner late night to post party.
You think New Haven is the worst ghetto you've ever seen
You can proudly tell an outsider about Nutmeg.
You weekend either on the Cape or Rhode Island at a summer home
You have said... " I'm in a good location... Between both Boston and New York."
You can carry on a conversation about Mike Liut, Torrie Robertson, and the Brass Bonanza.
You have to explain Cow Tipping to people from out of state.
When you go to a real city, you sincerely feel bad for every poor / homeless person you see.
You get pissed at anyone who doesn't know how to drive in the snow.
You can name all the members of the UCONN men's and women's basketball teams.
You still can't find your way in Hartford (except for that bar area near Union Station.)
You hold the door open for someone and they don't say "Thank You."
You own a golden or a lab (used to...)
You own real Oakley's
You only know Westbrook and Clinton because they have good outlets
You don't think you're a yuppie, but the rest of the country does
You only ski in Vermont or out West
Your mother is the head of the PTA
There is absolutely nothing to do in the winter
You live twenty minutes form either an Abercrombie & Fitch, J. Crew, or GAP.
You sail, or know someone who does.
You don't understand why everyone else has not been to Europe.
You can't get through the week with out a Coffee Coolata
Your family owns more cars than legal drivers
School attire is a North Face fleece jacket, a North Face Fleece or L.L. Bean back pack, a plaid shirt, khakis, and Doc Martins.
Summer footwear is either Reefs or Birks
You carry your keys on a carabineer, but you don't know how to rock climb.
You feel for the homeless, but are not willing to give up the golf course land to develop a homeless shelter.
As a child you took horseback riding, golfing, tennis and swimming lessons.
You grew up wanting to be a lifeguard
You own every DMB CD
The state is so small you know where all the speed traps are
You can't understand why people don't understand what your talking about when you refer to a "package" store
You went to prep school even though your public schools are awesome
People actually wear sweaters around their necks
You've never taken public transportation
You know of at least one person who's house was totally trashed after a huge party
Your mom drives a Volvo wagon
You have at least one friend whose house was built in the 1800's
You live in a huge colonial
You know at LEAST one person who has been pulled over and found to have weed in their car
The only overcrowding is of deer in your backyard
Your house would cost half as much in any other state
Your wardrobe contains at least three pairs of cords and five wool sweaters
Half of your friends are from another town because yours is so small
At least one of your friends has a sick house right on the water
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Connecticut.
comment if you like
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| TORN UP INSIDE BECAUSE OF U... |
[19 May 2005|10:09pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Yellow Card: Only One |
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so i just wanna let go of him, but i cant. like we hung out tonight and we were having soooo much fun, and i just wanted to kiss him, but i didn't cuz he told me we cant fuck around anymore, and i know i gotta stop doin that anywayz. So we just hung out today as "Friends". And maybe this is how it should stay cuz it was nice, but in the back of my mind(Actually all over my mind) i was just thinkin about bein with him. I mean I am in love with this kid and he doesn't care. why the hell do i put myself thru this seriously. I dunno i gotta go shower. bye bye
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[19 May 2005|10:08pm] |
I just got this from Alecia and I wanted to try it out so please do it!!!
REPLY IN COMMENT!!!
----
name:
how long have we known each other:
our relationship? (i.e. friends, classmates..etc.):
how did we meet?:
What/How much do I mean to you:
ask me *ONE* question, no matter how personal, I will answer it:
Anything else you want to say:
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| ICON |
[11 May 2005|09:16pm] |
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YAYYYYY I finally got a icon...actually i got many sop i will be switching them every few days contact if u like
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| IM DONE |
[11 May 2005|06:38pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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Sugarcult-Memory |
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Im done,I'm done with it all. FUCK LOVE, fuck Steve, just FUCK IT. I can't put myself thru this pain anymore. But you know what I still do and I probebly still will because I am stupid and weak when it comes to steve and I can't let him go. And he will just keep hurting me and hurting me until I really do go crazy. So guess what I asked him today if he wanted to go mess around and he was like "oh i mine as well tell you now...I have been talkin to some girls and I think i am liking one of them so i cant fuck around with u anymore. so there i am stuck in the fuckin dust while he goes and gets a new gurl. who is probebly 20 times prettier than i am and he will never want me EVER again.AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Yeah i know what u r all probebly saying: OH thats good now you can get over him, he isn't worth it etc...etc.... But the truth is to me he is worth it and i DONT want to get over him I want to be with him. More than anything. but i am done for now cuz i otta go out and see jackie cuz she is goin thru the same thing kinda only worse. but ill be there once he brings this gurl down to the cove ad he will. well whatever bye
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| ALERT:AINT FEELIN THE HOT NICE GUY |
[30 Apr 2005|05:37pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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JLo&Fat Joe- Hold You Down |
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OK so I just wasn't feelin this kid Eddie. I mean he was nice and cool, but he wasn't for me. i mean he was a lil to old(23) and he liked to drink and smoke a l,ot and i ain't into that shit so after we ate i asked him to bring me home................ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh well its opk. so i went back to the cove and hung out with everybody and had fun. i guess that guy 4 me is stil out there, but he has a good hiding spot
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| ALERT:FOUND HOT NICE GUY!!!! |
[28 Apr 2005|08:32pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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music |
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Backstreet Boys- Incomplete...might be corny but i luv them |
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OK so my day went from bad to awesome. First I had to drive my Dads car to school cuz my brake pads need to be replaced and then I had to deal with bulshit in school. Then When we and shibby were trying to leave my dads car wouldn't start. so a security guard jumped it and everything and then i picked up Jackie and Jess, and i knew i had to go to the chairopracter and then get home cuz my mom was by herself so when shibby asked ui f i could pick J up i sed he would have to come with us and she sed nevermind so i went to drop her off home and Kevin calls Jess and says he is stuck on main st and asked if i could give him a ride. so i sed yes, but them J and Shibby got into an argument and then me and shib got into a lil argument, but i got every1 home and me and Jackie were about to go to the chairopracterso i called my dad for the second time and rold him about his car and he started flipping on me and told me i had to go home and couldnt go out. so i went home and talked to my moom and she was like i could leave so jackie and i took the city bus down to the cove, and was hangin with bird and Kev, and then we went to Krausers and this kid Eddie pulled up and was talkin to kev, and then kev told jackie to go over there, and then jeff asked eddie for a ride so he sed he would be right back, and kev came over and told me that Eddie thought i was hot, but i hesitant at firat cuz he is almost 23, and i knew that he sold drugs at one point (but found out he really doesn't no more) so i was like nahhh but jackie sed to at least talk to him
so we walked up to the park and he came there and introduced himself to me and shit, and we all hung out at the park and Julie and dez came 2 the park 2.and then after a while i asked eddie to give me a ride home at like 6:00 and he was like sure so we got in the car and he asked mne y i was goin home and i was like cuz i am hungry so he sed well why don't i take u someplace to eat...so we went to tollis and talked a lot and i found out he was an awsome guyand he told me he thought i was gorgeous and i had beautiful eyes. Then we went to dunkin donuts, and went back to the cove abd julie and Dez asked if he could give them a ride home and he sed sure so we dropped Dez off in downtown and dropped julie off in hamden and Bird called my phone sayin he need to leave where he was for a certain reason(cant talk bout it) so we went and picled him up, and then eddie dropped him off and was bringing me home and asked if i wanted to go out with him tomarrow night and i sed yeah so he sed he will call me tonight....I am excited right now cuz he seems really cool and i really wanna get to know him better. I am usually uncomfortable with guys older than m, but with him im not:)
well im gonna go take a shower leave some love!!!
luv Laura
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[24 Apr 2005|08:33pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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OK so I foundout that jess and jackie were first not at Birds and then when the guys kept playin games with me they were downstairs gettin food so they didn't even find out until this morning when Bird told her so i feel better now. And I was so glad to see Jackie cuz i missed her sooooo much, and she got me the cutest pink ankletfrom Florida she is such a sweethears
.......well got to get back to watching charmed so bye
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[23 Apr 2005|07:58pm] |
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mood |
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pissed cuz i got ditched |
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AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE MY FUCKIN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously for once I would like to have friends who don't screw me over all the time. I mean ever since I was a lil kid and lived in Orange I never had true friends who always stuck by me. I mean my "best friend" for 8 years told me she always hated me and pretended to be my friend cuz she fely bad for me. And my cove friends used to do that to me, but i though that stopped, but after tonight i guess i was wrong. Jackie came back from Florida late last night so I was gonna hangout with her today, and i called her in the afternoon, and she said that she was at her dress fitting and she would call me later, bu she never did so around 6:30 I called her back and no answer then I called Jesicas phone and Kev picked up and was like jess left her phone at Birds, and went somewhere with Jackies fam, and that Kev and all them were going to Meriden. I really didn't believe him, so i called both their phones a couple more times and no one picked up. So I went to Krausers to get bogies and called again and Kevin sed he and bird were on there way to meriden. So when i got to Krausers I saw Lance and Tony and asked lance to call Birds house and see if anyone was there. And guess who was.....Bird, Kev,Jeff, Jackie, Jess, and other ppl. I was fucking mad like why would they do that to me if I'm supposed to be their best friends. So I called back and Kev answered and i was like let me talk to Jessica and he hung up, and then I called back and Jarmie picked up and he was like:oh they ran away...so now i am home and have been crying my eyes out
I don't know why they did that, but it really hurt me and was really fucked up...i don't think i did anything unless Jackie is pist cuz i told her what Dez put on birds wall, but i told her cuz she is my best friend and i wanted to warn her, but that probebly blew up in my face like everything else does. I can't deal with this anymore if my "friends" wanna do this then they aren't real friends. I am just sooooo upset right now so sry if it sounds like im bitchin, but i am cuz this is the only place I really can
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[12 Apr 2005|06:01pm] |
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mood |
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 im horny hey cant help it |
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so i am sitting at my house while my parents are in Atlantic City(yayyyy!!!!) and guess how many ppl are at my house right now....1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8!!!!!!!!!!!!! my house is crzy right now. Jeff, bird, jarmie, kevin, nadia, jess, jackie and steve are all here and the guys r playing x-box downstairs and the girls are stratnin their hair and watchin Princess Diaries 2. now aint that stereotypical?!?!?!? and i am just sitting here on the computer makin sure nuttin goes wrong...and i am praying nuttin goes wrong...(knock on wood) but its cool i luv hangin out wit my pplz especially a certain 1...ahhhhhhhhh thats all i gotta say about that 1...
so today was pretty eventfull first i didn't go 2 sleep untill 3:00 cuz jeffie slept over and we were tryin to both do homework, but we was 2 tired. so then i set my alarm for 6:15, but of course jeffie comes in my room and wakes me up and says..."ITS 7:19" i was like awwwwwwww fuck so i had litterally 3 min to get ready and went and picked shibby up and dropped jeff off at sound. Then 4th period psychology my fave class (not just cuz james is in it...lol)we had a big disccussion on SEX for the whole damn period. then we went to lunch, and Melly came up really upset cuz i guess felicia went to Danny's house yestarday and they probebly did somethin cuz she is a fuckin slut. so then melly told Angel and it turned into this whole big thing so me shibby and carolina decided to leave and drove around and then we picked up melly, alecia, and Jenny and we all went up to East rock and hung out. Then i dropped them off at school and me and shib picked up Jess and jack, and then J, and then bird. and then somehow i got 2 where i am now.....do not ask me how!!
but i am havin a good time, and my parents aren't comin home till 2marrow which means that i will have the house to myself....{hmmmmmmm} what can i dooo???or whooo????? lol nahhhh just kidding i probebly wont cuz he probebly wnt end up comeing over tonight cuz he is a basemonkey...but maybe its 4 the best who the hell knows...definatly not me...well im goin back to the chaos...leave some lovin if you like
luv LAURA
P.S. please no mention of u know who and u know what...thanx
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[03 Apr 2005|02:57pm] |
| LAURAMARIE |
| L |
is for |
Luxurious |
| A |
is for |
Abstract |
| U |
is for |
Unforgettable |
| R |
is for |
Rebellious |
| A |
is for |
Alert |
| M |
is for |
Magnificent |
| A |
is for |
Animated |
| R |
is for |
Radiant |
| I |
is for |
Innocent |
| E |
is for |
Earnest |
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[31 Mar 2005|09:20pm] |
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mood |
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 going crazy |
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i think i am gonna go insane. I just found out something really really really BAD that will hurt 1 of my good friends and I can not say anything because I was sworn to secrecy, and if i say something it will turn in to a big ordeal and i will end up in the middle of it and i can't deal with that...so now i have no where to turn, no one to talk to and i can't do anything except think about it over and over again.AHHHHHHH I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW THIS!!!
I can't stop thinking about it and now its gonna kill me everytime i see my friend cuz i cant tell them, and if they find out that i knew and didn't tell them they probebly will hate me, but if i open my mouth i will have mad people pist at me, and i will get in the middle. this is sooooo not what i need right now i already have mad shiton my mind and i cant deal with this.... OMG i am gonna get poeple pist at me no matter what i do i really cant do this i don't know where to turn... I wish i could talk to 1 of my best friends but i cant even tell them because they are friends with this person 2 and i cant risk they telling this person, and as you can see i won't even say if its a boy or a girl cuz i can not give anything away
someone PLEASE help me and giveme suggestions cuz i am going out of my mind please comment
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[28 Mar 2005|09:00pm] |
You're Soroity Slut Barbie! You're easy and you're
really cheesy! Have fun with the entire
football team.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
yeah cuz we all know thats me...big slut!!!lmao yup Im the biggest slut ever oh wait............im a virgin ooooops!!!lmao well i guess im not tthat barbie after all oh well!!
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| weekend update |
[28 Mar 2005|03:53pm] |
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mood |
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 bored as usual |
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music |
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Papa Roach - Scars |
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ok i was trying to write about my weekend and everything, but i am too lazy so this is all your gettin today. sry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh and shibby I can't wait to go to your summer home and we can teach are cigarettes how to swim...LMAO!!!!!
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| finally see the light |
[21 Mar 2005|07:53pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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so i think i finally got the sence knocked into me. thanks a lot to shibby cuz when i told her that i almost lost my virginity to steve and i still wanted to she said that thats the stupidest thing to do and i realized that she was right. i mean leave it to shibby to be totally blunt and maybe a lil harsh, but it works and i know she does it just cuz she cares about me. i mean i would only not get mad at a true friend if they told me that everyone know that steve doesn't like me and just want a piece of ass cuz hearing it from shibby who is one of my best friends and knows almost everything about me, steve and our situation it finally sank in. like i said i wouldn't regret it, but u know what i know i will it might not happen right away or even the day after but it coould happen after a week, a month, even a year.so i am taking every1s advice and not sleeping with him cuz he is not worth it and i need to get over him and start looking for a guy who will take care of me and want me for me. ohhhh i hope that guy is nearby cuz i am gettin impatient...lol oh well comment if you like but i am goin to go play cards with fe.
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| made up my mind |
[20 Mar 2005|08:51pm] |
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 optimistic |
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ok so i didn't have sex with steve this weekend and i know that makes a lot of ppl happy, but it makes me pist cuz i really want to. i know everyone is telling me not to and that i will regret it, but u know what i probebly will end up regretting it sooner or later, but its my decision. seriously name like 5 ppl in their teens that haven't regretted it. and i know he is using me for a piece of ass, but i kinda am using him cuz i wanna experience it and i want to experience it with him. so i have made up my mind and i am gonna i just don't know when cuz i havent seen him since friday, but i think i am. well i g2g cuz i need to run to krauzers for the 4th time in like 2 hours comment if u like.
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[19 Mar 2005|11:47am] |
i stole this from my jessica, but i know she won't mind cuz she luuuves me lol. just so u can see a lil more bout me and how messed up i am lol
you ever...
[x] been drunk.
[x] smoked pot.
[x] kissed a member of the opposite sex.
[x] rode in a taxi
[x] been dumped.
[x] shoplifted.
[ ] been fired.
[ ] been in a fist fight.
[ ] had sex.
[ ] had a threesome - kissing or otherwise
[x] snuck out of your parent`s house.
[ ] been arrested.
[x] made out with a stranger.
[ ] stole something from your job.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square.
[ ] went on a blind date.
[x] lied to a friend. nothing serious though.
[x] had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new Orleans.
[ ] been to Europe.
[x] skipped school.
[ ] thrown up from drinking.
[ ] lost your sibling.
[x] played 'clue'.
[x] had a sleepover party.
[x] went ice skating.
[ ] dropped x.
[ ] cheated on a bf/gf.
[ ] been cheated on.
[ ] had a sweet sixteen.
[ ] had a quinceanera.
[x] had a car.
[x] drove.
Do you...
[ ] have a bf.
[ ] have a gf.
[x] have a crush.
[ ] feel loved.
[x] feel lonely.
[ ] feel happy.
[x] hate yourself.
[ ] think you’re attractive.
[x] have a dog.
[x] have your own room.
[x] listen to rap.
[x] listen to rock.
[ ] listen to soul.
[ ] listen to techno.
[x] listen to reggae(ton).
[x] paint your nails.
[x] have more than 1 best friend.
[x] get good grades.
[ ] play an instrument.
[x] have slippers.
[ ] wear boxers.
[x] wear black eyeliner.
[ ] like the color orange.
[ ] like the color yellow.
[ ] cyber.
[x] like to read.
[ ] like to write.
[x] have long hair.
[ ] have short hair.
[x] have a cell phone.
[ ] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager.
Are you...
[ ] ugly.
[ ] pretty.
[x] ok.
[x] bored.
[ ] happy.
[ ] bilingual
[x] white.
[ ] black.
[ ] Hispanic.
[ ] Asian.
[ ] short.
[x] tall.
[ ] grounded.
[ ] sick.
[x] a virgin. (but not for long...)
[x] lazy.
[x] single.
[ ] taken.
[x] looking.
[ ] not looking.
[x] talking to someone.
[ ] IMing someone.
[x] scared to die.
[x] tired.
[x] sleepy.
[x] annoyed
[x] hungry.
[x] thirsty.
[ ] on the phone.
[ ] in your room.
[ ] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[x] in your pjs.
[x] ticklish.
[ ] listening to music.
[ ] homophobic.
[ ] racist.
please comment
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| wow |
[19 Mar 2005|11:14am] |
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mood |
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confused |
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so things got a whole lot better last night after my last entry. so dom felicia and i went to the cove to find nick and matt and steve was there too. so we went back to nick and doms house and we were all chillen and shit and then they smoked of course. then like an hour and a half later me and steve started messin around a lil bit and he sed he wanted to "go somewhere" and i know what he meant but we didn;t know where we could go so he was like we should go back to the cove cuz he knows a few places, but when we got down there we only stayed outside at birds so we couldn't do nothin. but jacky was there so me and her talked about it and she told me that i just need to follow my heart and my i will know what to do. so we went back to nicks and me and him started messin around a lil again and then he was like we should say we were gonna go to the store so we did and as we were walkin out nick was downstairs with his mom and he was like that he needed to go to the store too so steve and i were like fuck! but nick was going to get smoke so we were gonna drop him off at clinton and then go to "the store" but of course clinton was closed so he begged us to just wait till he gets it so we were shit outta kuck. then we goit back and he was making me really horny and i was gettin pist cuz i wanted him right there and we coouldn't. then they all smoked again and we left, but when i dropped him off i told him to call my cell phone today so he can come back to nicks with us and hopefully today can be the day........................
but now i am really torn cuz i don't know if last night was just really bad luck or a sign that i shouldn't lose my virginity to him i am so confused cuz i want to but i am still scared that everything will get fucked up. please comment and give me a few suggestions cuz i am sooo lost
thanx
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[18 Mar 2005|02:55pm] |
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mood |
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guilty |
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So today was a pretty normal day besides me being really depressed as usual. But i did talk to this guy that i have a crush on. his name is james and he is in my psychology class. He is a junior and he is really sexy. and the good thing is that every1 says he is really nice for once instead of the assholes i pick...not mentioning any names...{cough}-steve...newayzzzzzz im home now with felicia and dom and we are just chillen waitin for my dad to get home so that we can leave and go to doms house. but for some reason i am still upset and i don't know what to do. i did something today that i shouldn't have, but i wanted to and i did. but i don't want anyone top know cuz i know my friends will get pist at me. oh well they just don't get it. well im out byez
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crazy_babii204's journal